GOAT
Operating
Manual
Fiber for Your Microbiome Health
v1.0 — internal. Built to make calls, not to be admired.
Right fiber. Right format. Right dose. Wrong everything-else, on purpose.
The Decision Filter
Run every call through, in order. Fail any gate, the work fails.
1
Would the relic do it?
Metamucil is the negative space. Safe, paternal, beige, doctor-on-stock-photo, apologetic. We don't.
2
Would the inulin crowd do it?
BelliWelli, OLLY, MiraFIBER, AG1, Vitafusion. Pastel, soft-edged, low-dose, vibes-forward, proprietary-blend. We don't.
3
Would the smart cousins do it?
LOAM, Floura. If yes, can we go bigger, louder, or for more people. If yes, do it. If not, kill it.
4
Would the goat say it?
Knowing, mildly amused, drops the fact, moves on. If the line is dressed up, the goat didn't say it. A copywriter did.
5
Would mama nod at it?
Mama knows performing when she sees it. Too clever, too online, too cynical, strip it. Maximalism is not showing off.
Voice Rules
Short sentences. 8 to 12 words. Long sentences are a tell that the writer didn't know what they meant.
Numerals over words. 10g, not ten grams. 2 gummies, not two.
No em dashes. No corporate filler. Banned: support, optimize, journey, unlock, empower, holistic, synergy.
Plainspoken nouns. Bloated. Constipated. Poop. Gas. The body is not a wellness metaphor.
Name competitors when right, not when mad. Drop the flex. Don't explain it.
The label is the proof. Read the panel. Move on.
Phrases We Own
95% of adults are fiber deficient. The other 5% are goats.
Grandma got 30g of fiber a day. What's your excuse.
The wellness industry convinced you fiber was boring so they could sell you collagen.
Fibermaxxing since 8000 BC.
Doctor formulated. Goat approved.
Bigger is better. Mama said so.
Right fiber. Right dose. Right format.
Read the panel.
Phrases We Never Use

"Gut health" as a standalone. It's the symptom, not the brand.

"Wellness journey," "wellness routine," wellness anything.

"Support" when we mean "work."

"Optimize." Real verbs only.

"Clean," "clean label," "clean ingredients." Apologetic.

"Just" as a softener. Not "just 2 gummies." Just "2 gummies."

"Premium." If we have to say it, we aren't.

"Discover," "unleash," "unlock." Marketing verbs that mean nothing.

The Kill List
On-Brand
Looks on-brand, isn't

Naming the dose on the front of pack.

Picking a fight with Metamucil on a fact.

One dry line about poop, on the back panel.

A sharp goat illustration. One color. Confident.

A black card with one line of white type.

Citing one peer-reviewed study by journal name.

Naming PHGG and psyllium on the carton.

"Read the panel" as the universal challenge.

A pastel wash on the front of pack.

Picking a fight with Metamucil's customer.

A whole campaign about poop. We are not OLLY.

A cartoon goat with sunglasses. We are not craft beer.

A black card with three lines. One line wins.

"Backed by science." Empty. Cut.

"Proprietary blend" anywhere on anything.

"Discover your wellness." A handwriting font, ever.

The brand is the goat. The science is the receipt. The label is the proof.